It is not what happens to you, but what you think about what happens to you that creates your sorrow.

You have heard these words, probably hundreds of times, if you have been on the spiritual path any time at all, but have you ever really integrated these words into your conscious awareness. Do you honestly own the understanding of this Truth or do you merely have the words memorized, in some rote fashion without fully considering how they apply to your day-to-day life experience?

Consider these words from Joel Goldsmith, found in The Contemplative Life, “Nothing can come into your or my experience except through our own consciousness.”

Reading words and even understanding the words you read and all the possible implications of those words is not the same thing as really allowing the understanding of this concept to change the fundamental way you live your life.

I can give you a quick test to see if you have integrated the opening sentence or if you just understand its meaning in an intellectual way: Do things happen in your life which cause you to suffer? Do things happen which create stress in your life?

You see if you answer “yes” to either of these questions, you do not fully embrace the first sentence. You may very well understand it. You may be able to quote thirty different authors or speakers who have expressed this in similar ways, but if you still allow life’s events to cause you to be upset, you do not own this Truth.

It is the nature of thinking that it is never really present. It cannot be fully present because it is always behind whatever has just happened. By the time you are interpreting what you have just witnessed, the event you are reacting to is in the past. When you consider that ninety-nine percent of what bothers you is much further removed from your present moment than something which just occurred, you realize that you are allowing your thoughts to destroy your calm peace of mind.

It is not my intention to be critical here. I still have moments where I allow my thinking to destroy my peace. The frequency is less than in my past, but they still happen, typically when I am reacting to some situation before recognizing that my emotions have hijacked my sensibility. It’s like my mind is a wild horse and I, having dropped the reins, allowed my mind, no matter how briefly, to become my master.

What is different for me, today, from where I was thirty years ago, is that now I recognize, normally quite quickly, that my thinking has destroyed my experience of heaven here on earth, and I rapidly change my mind. You can do that too, and I will promise you that it is worthwhile.

When you fully understand that events have no power to disrupt your joy, and that it is only when you are allowing your untamed mind to run, unchecked, that you feel anxiety, you can easily make a different choice. You can simply say, “Stop it” to your out-of-control brain and once you have practiced this, sufficiently, your mind will have no choice but to comply. Of course, there can be other factors involved, like fear, which can make your mind harder to tame, but in time, with a suitable investment of effort, you can make your mind become your servant and not your master. Then you can really own the concept that it is your thinking which creates all of your misery, because you can witness and know, at once, that this statement is Truth.

I am going to close with identical ideas from two different sources:

1. The problem is always a belief in your own thought. ~ Joel Goldsmith
2. It is not possible to have a problem without believing a prior thought. To notice this simple truth is the beginning of peace. ~ Byron Katie
3. The mind’s natural condition is peace. Then a thought enters, you believe it, and the peace seems to disappear. ~ Byron Katie

Thinking is dangerous, friend. Really understand this, especially when in the midst of challenging times, and you can return to peace as if you never entertained the thought in the first place. Your brain is going to think, as long as you are alive. That is a good thing. It is proof that you are still here with us on the human plane. Believing those thoughts, investing in those thoughts, and attaching to these thoughts, that is where every problem begins.

If you must believe your thoughts, believe in the idea of a peaceful, day-to-day experience. Let go of every other thought. Seek ye first peace and joy shall accompany you all the days of your life.

A friend of mine recently asked me, “Why do you write and share your thoughts with people.” He added, “People are just going to do what they do, regardless of whether or not you offer a better idea. Plus,” he continued, “you said no one reads your blog anyway.”

I replied that I share what I know to be Truth for several reasons.

1. I like it. I like the process of putting my thoughts and observations down in print. The actual work of sharing my ideas, the internet and email creations is more challenging than I would like but that is due, in part, to the fact that I am self-taught and am still learning.
2. If I only help one person, in my entire lifetime, it will be worth it; but even if I do not, it helps me to congeal my ideas into a more concise ideology. My thoughts are like wild horses, sometimes, they can be unmanageable without some intervention.
3. When I first started out, I thought this would be a great way to write a book, with each “Secret” being a page or two in the book. This has never worked out too well because my thoughts (as mentioned in 2) can be all over the map. I am in the process of pulling enough thoughts together to formulate a publishable manuscript, but I have been working on it for over a year. It is a slow, often tedious, exercise that I have to squeeze into my busy days. I think if I had started with an outline and followed that format it would have worked for that purpose, but that is far more organized than I am, normally.

   

The Buddha is attributed with having said: “There is no wealth like knowledge, and no poverty like ignorance.” While I always do, and always have written my Secrets to Peace for me, to organize my thoughts, and to bring clarity to the myriad lessons life continually offers me, I like sharing them, or at least making them available for others to find, regardless of whether or not I am ever rewarded for this sharing. I believe myself to be a generous person, and this writing is just another way to give to my brothers and sisters. Besides, there are a couple of people who routinely tell me that my words help them. That always seems like confirmation, enough, that what I do is worthwhile.

I have said this before and I am sure I will say it again and again. The thoughts I share, via this venue, are always my inner Self speaking to the me that needs tools to properly function in the world. While I inadvertently use the pronoun, you, frequently, it is never directed at anyone other than me. So, if I say “Your life would be greatly improved by a daily practice of meditation” it is me speaking to me and not Elliott giving advice to any of his beloved readers. I share this because of another comment I received recently, which I will not share, but it was criticizing me for thinking I had all the answers.

I have said, repeatedly, I do not consider myself to be a way-shower, I am merely a fellow traveler in this wonderful journey we call life. I do not believe I have any exclusive knowledge about the “rules” for living, I simply enjoy sharing what makes my daily walk a little brighter, a little less stressful, a little more joyous.

The bottom line is this: I share my thoughts about living in peace in the hopes that some will find value in my discoveries. If my words do not speak to you, then they are clearly not meant for you. There is nothing to be gained by attacking the messenger because you do not agree with the message. Just move on. I wish you well.

That’s all I will say about that.

In closing I want to share one more quote, this from a Jewish commentary on the Book of Deuteronomy called the Deuteronomy Rabbah: “In vain have you acquired knowledge if you have not imparted it to others.” I think it is important that we share our knowledge. I think there is value in writing it down. It feels significant to honor my Self by sharing what Life teaches me. My efforts here are a result of these beliefs.

I hope that by sharing my walk through life that others are helped, but if not, I promise that it helps me to go through this process because of the benefits I receive. As for my knowledge: it is subject to change at any moment, but that is just the nature of knowledge when one approaches life with an open mind and an open heart.

Regardless of the effect my words have in your life, know that I greatly appreciate your presence here. May we grow together and raise the collective consciousness by learning, each day, to be a greater expression of the Love we are.

As we head into the holiday season (Thanksgiving is only 6 weeks away for us in the U.S.) we face one of the most challenging times of the year; that being time spent with our extended family.

In many cultures this is not a big issue but in the U.S. we have mostly moved away from the extended family model and live nestled in our nuclear family. For many of us, we like the arrangement because it keeps us from having to deal with the wounds that extended family remind us of. As a culture we would rather these ancient hurts remain buried.

This holiday season, I am once again committed to honoring my extended family by practicing compassion and understanding. I hope each of you will make similar commitments and embrace the holiday seasons as an opportunity to learn more about yourself.

I want to take this opportunity to remind us all that no one knows our secret hurts better than our family members. They are, without a doubt, our greatest teachers. In many cases, it was these exact individuals who helped us develop these painful memories, in the first place. It only makes sense that they are the ones to help us get over our resentments.

Today, I am thankful for having such skilled teachers in my life. Not only do I get the opportunity to examine areas in my life where I still do not love myself, but I also am offered plenty of practice at forgiving myself and others.

The other morning, when I awoke, I looked at the clock and saw it was flashing. I knew this meant that we had experienced a power outage.

As I reset the clock, I clearly saw this metaphor:

Each day is a new day.
Each day is a chance to start over fresh.
Yesterday does not have any power over today,
          which I do not give it.

Today I may forgive my yesterday
and I may recommit to staying in Love
         totally present in the Now;
         in the newness of this moment.

Today, I am thankful for those who love me enough
         to point me in the direction
         I need to go,
                for my self-healing.

Today, I forgive myself
For all the areas
Where I fall short
        of whom I think I Am
        of whom I wish to be
        of whom I think
                I should be!

Today I love myself,
         just as I am.

When I love myself enough
Perhaps I will free myself
        of my need
                for the approval of others.

As I begin my new day,
I am truly grateful
        for each and every teacher
        present in my life.

Today, once again,
I claim my independence.
        as I affirm my freedom.

Thank you,
        one and all!

Forgive everyone, everything, right here and right now. If you are truly successful at this practice, and the memory of that person has safe passage through your mind, your holidays will be filled with unprecedented blessings. If anything other than blessing shows up, transform it, right then, right there. Know that every such opportunity is an offering that only the other individual can give. Use it. Heal it. You will be so glad you made that choice.